


The weight upon your shoulders

by supcl4ra (klari19)



Series: KurooAka Week [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swimming, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, He doesnt know it but he needs love and protection, Kissing, Kuroo must be protected at all costs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5988256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klari19/pseuds/supcl4ra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College life was as peaceful as it could be for Kuroo Tetsurou. He was the captain and backstroke swimmer of the college swim team, there weren’t any distractions of any kind in his entourage, his social and school lives were balanced… Everything was going perfectly well for him, until –</p><p>Until, one day, a boy named Akaashi Keiji joined the swim team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The weight upon your shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> Written for KurooAka Week, Day 5: ~~Parents~~ OR Sports swap. 
> 
> Volleball gays turned into swimming gays omfg.  
> I wanted to write smut but I didn’t have enough time, so here’s some nonsensical angst with a happy ending instead.

College life was as peaceful as it could be for Kuroo Tetsurou. He was the captain and backstroke swimmer of the college swim team, there weren’t any distractions of any kind in his entourage, his social and school lives were balanced… Everything was going perfectly well for him, until –

Until, one day, a boy named Akaashi Keiji joined the swim team.

Well – it wasn’t a _big_ _problem_ per se. It was… complicated for Kuroo – or so he wanted himself to believe. What had him constantly heavy breathing and pulling at his hair was how the younger one had come to join the team.

Because their freestyle swimmer had graduated, the team had to find a replacement for him. Following that logic, a public invitation had been issued: everyone who was specialized in swimming freestyle was welcome to assist to the swim team’s tryouts. Since it was a small college, and their main strength wasn’t the swim team (although they were ‘pretty damn good’, as Kuroo liked boasting every time he was asked about it), there hadn’t been many participants to the tryouts. But they’d been able to find their freestyle swimmer nonetheless. And boy, they hadn’t been expecting to discover him the way they had.

As the captain of the team, it was Kuroo’s duty to, first, make the aspirants feel welcome even though there would only be one of them chosen at the end – the public image of the team was very important –, two, thoroughly analyze each of them through small talk and an overlook of their body – their personality was as important as their body shape, or so Kuroo said –, and three, of course, test the guy’s capacities through a timed test.

The test was the same as it had been ever since the swim club had been created, dozens of years ago: four laps of the semi-Olympic pool – because that was as much as the college could afford for them – which was the same as two laps in a full Olympic pool. It was a speed and endurance test, not necessarily meant to break the record of the team – up ‘till that moment, the fastest swimmer in the history of the club had been their retired freestyle swimmer, who was already quite fast.

It’s not that Kuroo thought Akaashi wouldn’t be able to finish as the fastest of the lot – his rather shy personality had been interesting and all, but Kuroo didn’t think the boy had enough muscle in his torso and arms to be an interesting freestyle swimmer. It’s not that Kuroo thought Akaashi would never be able to break the record of the club.

But, _oh_ , the boy had.

Akaashi Keiji had, to everyone’s surprise, come against Kuroo’s theories and analysis and speculations.

Mouth agape, his grip on the chronometer loose, and eyes as wide as plates as he stared at the boy in the track number five of the pool, Kuroo couldn’t believe what had just happened in front of him. Akaashi simply took off his swim cap and shook his head, little drops of water flying in every direction as he did.

In his crouching position, Kuroo felt a soft quick on his butt. Startled, he nearly fell face forward into the pool. He whipped his head back and found one of his teammates staring down at him with an eyebrow cocked. “You gonna make them line up or what?”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry.” He realized he’d been in a sort of trance for a few moments, too dumbstruck to notice the other swimmers had also finished their laps – but much later than Akaashi.

Once all the aspirants had been lined up, Kuroo stood in front of them and bowed his head slightly. “Thank you all for coming today. It’s really a pity that we’re only looking for one recruit, because all of you have great potential. Thank you all for your effort.” The guys standing in front of him bowed their heads. “Now, as for who will be joining our ranks…” He paused, looking at each of them before letting his eyes fall on the chosen one. “…Akaashi Keiji.”

Everyone – the team, the aspirants – applauded, and the participants who didn’t pass the test even clapped Akaashi’s back, congratulating him and wishing him good luck. The boy gave them a small smile and lowered his head – he didn’t seem to be the one to boast about his victories or celebrate them greatly.

In all honesty, Kuroo didn’t know what to think of him. He was truly impressed by the guy’s swimming, but he also felt a little attacked… because the guy looked like it was an effortless thing to do, while Kuroo spent hours and hours in the pool, at the gym, perfecting his swimming and strengthening his muscles, but he had yet to achieve his true goal.

Frustration boiled hot in his chest as he shook Akaashi’s hand and welcomed him into the club.

***

A few weeks had passed since Akaashi had joined them, and the team had already practiced together a lot. Akaashi had warmed up into the small group quite easily despite how little he stood out. Kuroo had tried his best – he really had – to befriend the guy, but the still felt a slight pang of irritation whenever he had to _make_ himself go towards Akaashi.

It was just too hard on his pride, and Kuroo could only take so much.

If Kuroo had looked closely enough, he might have been able to notice the concerned and slightly pained frown on Akaashi’s face whenever the taller one passed by him with a forced smile.

***

It was late that night, but Kuroo had in his possession the keys to the pool, and he knew no one would come to tell him to go away – because the club monitors didn’t really care about it and had entrusted the full responsibility of the team and the management of the pool to Kuroo.

And so he swam, going continuously from one side to the other of the pool, and only stopping for a few moments to catch his breath. He felt exhausted, mentally and physically; his muscles hurt and he wanted to go to sleep, but he kept going. He _needed_ to keep going.

He needed to improve.

Kuroo only realized he had been joined by someone else when he heard a faint splashing sound even as he crossed the water with his long and powerful back strokes.

When his fingers touched the border he straightened up, pulling off his goggles and taking of his swimming cap. The fringe that was held up into the cap fell forward and over his eye; he mindlessly brushed the damp strands to the side and gazed at the newcomer.

An elegant stroke: beautifully timed intake of breaths, fingers soundlessly and smoothly breaking into the water, legs kicking off as little water as possible. That was the way Akaashi Keiji swam.

Kuroo grit his teeth and shut his eyes, gripping the starting block behind him and turning to face it, pressing his forehead to it.

Why was the kid there?

He tried to calm his breathing by inhaling through the nose and counting each intake of oxygen. He was so engrossed with his self-therapy that when he reached one hundred and twenty-five breaths and there was a small tap on his shoulder, Kuroo almost jumped out of his skin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi’s tone was honest, and he seemed truly apologetic.

Kuroo gazed at him with wide eyes, his heart beating heavily in his chest, his breath catching in his throat; the fright he’d gone through had made adrenaline surge through his system.

“Nah, it’s alright.” Kuroo said finally. “Is there something I can help you with?” He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to _make_ himself face Akaashi. He wanted the pool to be lovely and silent once more.

Akaashi lowered his eyes and looked to the side. He reached out a hand and grasped the string of floating plastic bubbles that made the separation between each track. A heavy silence hovered above them for a few moments, until Akaashi spoke up once more.

“I feel like – we haven’t been in the best terms, you and me.” The guy spoke lower this time, and Kuroo had to strain his ear to hear him clearly.

Kuroo frowned and scoffed. “What’s that? How come you’ve felt like that?” Akaashi was right in his speculations, but, somehow, hearing it aloud, and hearing himself lie made something inside Kuroo’s chest hurt.

“It’s just that…” Akaashi trailed off, and Kuroo reinforced his grip on the starting block, bracing himself for what was to come, whatever it was. “It seems to bme that there’s something… like a wall between us. Something that’s bothering you. And I – really want you to tell me what it is because I want to have a good relationship with you. I want to become part of the team.” He paused, then added. “I want to become part of _your_ team.”

Akaashi looked up and Kuroo could see the shimmer of the water, lit up from inside the pool, into his gaze. He forgot how to breathe for a second.

“A wall?” Kuroo started, then laughed.

“Kuroo-san, please.”

“I don’t know what this is about, Akaashi.” His reply came out in a much sharper tone than he had intended, because, yes, he felt slightly angry, but he didn’t want it to show. “There’s nothing bothering me, and you shouldn’t worry yourself with this kind of presumptions.” He spoke, and willed himself to grin. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be closing up the pool in about fifteen minutes.”

As he was finishing his sentence, Kuroo turned around and attempted to propel himself out of the pool, one hand on the starting block and the other on the rough border, but he was stopped by a slippery and warm hand gripping his wrist. He was stopped in his momentum, and fell back inside the pool with a splash. He turned back to glare at Akaashi, yanking his hand away from his. Without a word, he readied himself to exit the pool once more –

“ _Kuroo_ … san.” Akaashi’s voice was raised, echoing around the pool and resounding loud in Kuroo’s ears, and it trembled a little when he added the honorific. “ _Please_. Tell me. I can’t that this anym – ”

“ _You_ can’t take this anymore?” Kuroo spat, facing Akaashi, his brows furrowed deeply, and his upper lip twitching in annoyance. “Is this entire situation feeling difficult on _yourself_? Do you want me to tell you what the real problem is here?”

“Yes.”

The boy’s straight-forward answer caught him off-guard, but Kuroo immediately regained his composure. His stomach churned with anxiety and anger and frustration when the next words slipped past his trembling lips.

“I feel inferior to you. That’s the problem here. You make it all look so easy with your perfect stroke, and I can’t even reach my own goals by training as much as I do. I’m the team’s captain for fuck’s sake! If I can’t even do – something as simple – as this, then – ”

“Kuroo-san.”

Akaashi’s hand was warn on his shoulder, and only then did Kuroo realize he felt short of breath and his heartbeat had accelerated considerably. He closed his eyes and gulped down, willing himself to relax.

“Fuck.” Kuroo muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger; he was getting a small headache.

“Kuroo-san.” Akaashi repeated, his voice soft and somewhat soothing. Kuroo opened his eyes and looked into his once more. “It’s not simple, and it’s not an easy thing to do, I know that. I really do admire your hard work, but my honest opinion is that you haven’t been able to reach your goals because – ” Akaashi stopped and bit his lip.

“What. What were you going to say?” He wanted to get out of the pool already.

“Because you’re overtraining.”

Silence fell above them, and the only thing that perturbed it was the sound of the water and their breaths. A sudden coldness washed over Kuroo’s body, as if a bucket filled with ice and cold water had been thrown over his head. Still… He refused to believe Akaashi’s words.

“Overtraining? What kind of nonsense is that?” Kuroo spoke with his lips pulled back in a mocking grin.

“How do you feel right now?”

“Exhausted, but that’s normal.”

“It’s not.” Akaashi deadpanned, his face serious and his tone flat.

“How can it not be normal? I’ve swam at least twenty laps! How could I not feel exhausted?” Kuroo exclaimed, and his loud voice bounced against the naked walls of the indoor pool.

“Well, that much is true.” Akaashi began, and Kuroo almost wanted to punch him. “But it’s not normal to stop to catch your breath for longer than a few seconds after every lap, and that ever since the beginning of the session.”

Kuroo’s reply died in his throat, and he stared into Akaashi’s eyes, jaw hanging slightly open. He blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of Akaashi’s affirmation. “Wait. Wha – Did you watch me before you entered the pool?”

Akaashi shrunk down a little in front of him, and pulled his hand away from Kuroo’s shoulder. The area of skin had grown accustomed to the warmth without him noticing, and now he missed Akaashi’s touch.

“Y – yes.” He stuttered, a light pink coloring his cheeks as he averted his gaze.

Kuroo let the silence stretch between them. He needed to process what Akaashi had told him, the implications of his words, the weight of everything.

If Kuroo was indeed overtraining himself, it was only because he sought to make the swim team the best it could be. It wasn’t only because of _himself_ ; he was entirely responsible for his team, and he needed to be a strong and confident figure for them. He needed to be someone they could trust, someone who would make them believe they could become better themselves, and with that motivate them to improve in their abilities and make the team grow. His team’s trust, the team’s reputation – all of that, Kuroo carried upon his shoulders. It was –

“It’s too much, Akaashi.” Kuroo whispered, his voice breaking at the end. He inhaled deeply, his chest shivering as it expanded. “I wanted to be the best captain for my beloved team but – ”

“Stop it. Stop right there.” Came Akaashi’s whisper.

Kuroo felt the smooth brush of Akaashi’s fingers over his cheek, and he realized tears had begun streaming down his face at some point. He looked away, embarrassed, and angrily wiped his face with a rough palm.

When Kuroo looked back at Akaashi, he found the younger gazing at him, a gentle expression on his face.

The exhaustion, both psychological and physical, made Kuroo long for reassurance, comfort, affection… he just needed someone to tell him that everything would be alright. That all his work would eventually come to fruition. He just –

He lowered himself neck-deep into the water, and felt the familiar resistance against his palms when he swam towards Akaashi. He stopped his strokes when his nose was almost touching Akaashi’s, the disturbed water licking leisurely the skin of their necks. Akaashi didn’t move.

Kuroo let out a shivering breath; he looked into Akaashi’s grayish-green eyes, then down to his pink moist lips and back up. Heat flushed his face as he tilted his head to the side and closed the distance between them.

Akaashi’s lips looked smooth, but they felt even softer to the touch. Kuroo shivered slightly, the pleasant warmth of Akaashi’s skin making small sparks of electricity tingle the nerves of his lips. He tasted chlorine on the boy’s lips, and Akaashi certainly tasted the same on his, but none of them pulled away at the bitter savor.

Their lips moved in synch, pressing and gliding against each other as if they knew where the other would move their mouth even before they did.

Somewhere along the way, Kuroo’s eyes had fluttered closed, and soon his hands hand found themselves cupping Akaashi’s cheeks; Akaashi’s own palms were warm onto Kuroo’s biceps, gripping him tightly and keeping him close. The comfort and reassurance Kuroo needed was transmitted through the touching of their skin. And Kuroo felt tears of relief surge at the corners of his eyes.

Eventually, Akaashi pulled away from him to catch his breath.

The younger one looked at him through his dark eyelids, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips, and Kuroo couldn’t help but peck his lips once more before he buried his face into the other’s neck, strong arms wrapped tightly around slender shoulders. Akaashi remained without moving for a while, then he lowered his arms and hugged Kuroo’s waist into them.

Kuroo breathed in the scent of the guy holding him close to him like that. It was a scent of peace and goodness and security. He felt good, he felt okay. He hummed softly, nuzzling into Akaashi’s neck some more and the boy pressed his cheek to Kuroo’s temple.

Kuroo didn’t know how much time had passed, how long they’d been holding each other, but he knew he was starting to doze off onto Akaashi’s shoulder. Akaashi probably took notice of his state, for he softly rubbed the small of Akaashi’s back with his hands.

“It’s late, Kuroo-san. We should probably go back to the dorms.” Akaashi whispered, sounding reluctant to do that himself.

Kuroo smiled into his neck, eyes closed and feeling the warmth of Akaashi’s skin permeating into his own. “Yeah.” He murmured tiredly.

There was a moment of silence during which Akaashi probably expected him to do something. There was a sigh, one that Kuroo almost couldn’t hear through the daze in his mind.

“Kuroo-san, do you need me to help you getting out of the pool?” Akaashi’s voice was soft and gentle, there was the smallest hint of laugh into it, and it felt as if it were lulling Kuroo into sleep.

Kuroo’s grip around Akaashi’s neck tightened just a little. It felt comfortable and he didn’t want to let go.

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't re-read this I'm so sorry orz ~~tomorrow morning i'll probably regret having posted it like this //sobs~~  
>  kuroosthighz | tumblr


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